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    June 02

    写在老娘返家之前

      在预谋良久后,老娘史无前例的携带"巨款"私逃罢工了..............真没想到,她还有这出息,55555555
      于是每天下班以后,我的噩梦开始了.
      发现一:原来拖地板是这么累人,必须抵抗近视加散光的客观因素,双腿劈叉45度角,用一种被称为可耻的"猛虎落地式"的POSE不徐不急的钟摆作业.......拖把绝对不能太湿,因为潮湿的地板对于"老年人"的我是极其危险的凶器,伤人于无形啊;太干,哼哼,拖半天还跟那棒子面脸蛋似的蜕皮起皱,无功而劳啊.
       发现二:原来会做饭的我,其实还是很懒的生物.不想动弹啊~~(懒惰是可耻滴).以前断了交的老朋友陆续回访,其中包括:韩国辣白菜泡面/可的便利新推出的N种便当/没有营养,吃了只会发胖,被女人们称为失恋治疗排行榜第一名的冰激凌(天知道老娘知道我把这玩意儿当饭吃,脸会抽筋成什么样子)/各种速冻饺子,云吞,汤团,包子,花卷......................天啊,难道补充蔬菜只有再叫外卖麻辣烫不成??
      一朵娇艳的"花朵"正在以光速枯萎,神啊~~~救救你的孩子吧!!!! 
      发现三:我那可怜的红掌和天竺葵因为没有充足的阳光照射和水分的滋润,已经开始打蔫了........哈丽路亚,我真不是故意的.......   
      发现四:长时间不喝的水是会发黄滴.........我知道这很可怕......已经倒了,不用担心半夜起来挂急诊.
      发现五:妈妈,快回来了.........8点钟一个救命的电话把我拉回美丽的现实,哈哈哈哈哈哈哈(请容许我失心疯的大笑三声)老娘结束不道德的人间蒸发,良心发现..............我再熬个N天,她老人家就回来拉~~~(怎么有把娘当做私人保姆的嫌疑?不纯洁的我)
     
      含着眼泪,握着拳站在阳台上的我,望着远方,为月亮另一边的娘唱起一首R&B旋律的<常回家看看>..........
     
     
      (被众人抽飞)愤青完毕,鞠躬...... 

    Comments (3)

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    靓靓wrote:
    呵呵,可怜的小猪猪!
    偶会时常去你家,"浇浇"你这棵娇嫩的"花朵",哈哈!
    June 4
    子 林wrote:
    呵呵~~~亲~~我过来看咯~~做得很棒涅~~~偶以后会经常来玩哒~~~大蹭~~~
    June 3
    独自等待wrote:
    无聊,闲逛,到此,阅读,发表........over
    嘿嘿,简约而不简单
     
    好多的发现哟....
     
    June 2

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